Tidal Wave

I don't have enough drama in my life. Sometimes, I feel like I'm just floating through with no genuine tears, no gut-wrenching passions and no way of feeling really alive. I'm in a rut. I need a change... something big that will yank me out of this melancholy. All I do is eat, sleep and study. Sure I have amazing friends and other little hobbies, but nothing that's enough to fill the void that's meant for feeling alive. Right now I'm in limbo, like a ghost. Floating.

Strangely, what's helped me come to this realization is my constant habit of sleeping in. I've never been a morning person, but I've usually made it up for that important class or work. Not lately. I have to set three alarms, and in my sleep I turn them all off and crawl back into bed. Is this just because I'm not getting enough sleep? No, I'm getting plenty of that. It's because there's nothing worth getting out of bed for anymore. I'd rather sleep than be awake, alive and enjoying the day. I feel terribly pathetic, but it couldn't be more true. What is there to wake up for? All of my answers are obligatory ones: Class, studying, talking to friends, working out. None of these things really get me excited about being awake and alive. Yes, I love my friends more than anything, but even they can't pull me out of this deep rut I've fallen into. I need a change, a tidal wave. Something to remind me that I'm here to enjoy life and that all the little things add up to something bigger than me.

Maybe this is just a mood I'll come out of tomorrow, maybe it'll take longer. But maybe I really do need a tidal wave to carry me away for a little while.