Ode to Sam

Can you see the family resemblance?

Yes we are related, this is my baby brother Sam. He's only 19, but already his story is an amazing one. I don't even think he knows it, or maybe he's just too modest to admit it. Even if he were to read this ode he'd just shrug his shoulders and say "so what?" That's just Sam.

Sam was born with autism. For those of you who don't know, autism is a developmental disability that impacts normal development of the brain in the areas of social interaction and communication skills. The thing that makes autism so difficult to treat and even diagnose is that every person with this disability is different. There are a range of symptoms from extreme to manageable and they differ depending on each person. Sam didn't start speaking until later than most children. He didn't like to be touched, he couldn't handle loud noises and had difficulty with communication. He wasn't diagnosed with autism until he was 10 years old because of the uniqueness of his symptoms and because he is considered very high functioning. In other words, you would never know he had a disability unless you knew him very well. Because he wasn't diagnosed until such a late age, he was not treated the way he should have been for the first 10 years of his life. Finally getting a diagnosis was like a heavy weight being lifted off the family's shoulders. We could finally help him.

Sam was teased as a child. The other kids didn't understand him, because he looked like a normal kid but had strange mannerisms. He would come home so angry and upset because of the cruel things the kids said to him. And you would not believe some of the things these kids said. Being the protective older sister, I threatened to kick some of their asses on more than one occasion if they ever talked to Sam again. Of course, I didn't realize that would make things worse.

Even I had problems understanding Sam. I was not nice to him. I didn't have the patience when I was young to deal with him sometimes and I would yell and say things I shouldn't have. I regret it all now, but when you're young and dealing with your own problems it's hard to relate to someone as complex as Sam.

Finally when he turned 16 a program opened up at the public high school especially for students with autism. It was so extremely successful, we saw a change in him after just a couple weeks. He was making new friends, he was more talkative, more calm in school and getting better grades. Now 3 years and still in the program, he is barely the same person. Sam is one of the most popular boys at school. All the younger kids look up to him and see him as a role model. He plays the bass guitar and the drums, he takes hip-hop and tap dance classes and wants to start ballet next year. He publicly condones smoking and drinking, and even on his 19th birthday when I offered to drive him to the liquor store he wasn't interested. Everyone sees Sam as someone who knows himself, who is moral to the core, who is open to trying new things and who wants to be social all the time. Every spare minute he has he wants to spend with his friends, playing basketball or jamming on his guitar. I can't even express to you how proud I am of him.

Not only has he developed better social skills, but he's almost fully developed a sense of self. He knows what he likes, he has a well-developed taste in music and a extremely sarcastic sense of humour. Which, I might add, is difficult for most people with autism. Humour is a very complex social skill that Sam has completely mastered. One word out of him can leave me in stitches on the floor, and he'll just sit there cool as a cucumber. Not only that, but as you can see from the picture Sam has a very unique sense of style. His hair is a dyed blonde, afro, mess of craziness and that's the way he likes it. He wont cut it off for anyone (to the dismay of my mother.)

He is still in high school and because of his disability he had to take some required courses that didn't count for credit. For this reason, it would have taken him at least 3 more years to graduate with a resource diploma. We were all disappointed by this news, but Sam was angry. He stormed into the guidance office and forced them to recount his credits. It turns out he actually has 27 normal high school credits and after just one more semester next fall, he will be able to graduate with a full OSSD. I cried my eyes out on his shoulder when I heard this news. "Sam, I'm so proud of you, this is all so exciting! You can do anything you want now, go to college, university, anything! Do you realize how exciting this is?" And in the true Sam fashion, he just shrugged and said, "yup."

My brother is an inspiration. Although we've had our differences, I don't know anyone who has worked harder than him, even on a day-to-day basis. He's never let his disability get in the way of what he wants and not once have I heard him use it as an excuse. He is gentle, kind, funny, strong, ambitious and extremely humble. Knowing someone like him makes me want to be a better person. He has overcome such personal adversity that it brings a tear to my eye. He and I have had very different childhoods, and I feel like I've taken mine for granted knowing how much he has gone through to be where he is today. We can all learn something from Sam.

Love you buddy.