The First

I saw you a couple years ago, but you didn't see me. I ducked into the next room at the last minute. I wasn't ready for the small talk and awkward silences that would follow, considering the last night we spent together. I never understood your sudden change of heart but I suppose it's all for the best. After all, you were only a 17 year old boy and never understood how much you really hurt me.

__________

"What's wrong with you?"
Silence.
"Don't give me this brick wall shit."
"Let's talk about this later."
"No, not later! I'm not stupid, something is going on."
Silence.
"Fine, but just know that if this ends we can't be friends anymore. I couldn't do it."
"We'll talk about this later."
__________

Before it ends, you always know it. You can see it coming a mile away and try as hard as you might, it will end. Everyone knows it but still everyone ignores it.

Still, as much as it hurts, I can maintain my poise. My grace. And as much as I am screaming on the inside I never raise my voice. Never shed a tear. Never lose my self respect.

An "unhealthy coping method" for some, but maintaining my self respect and not losing my cool is my way of dealing with rejection. Keeping my head high, not letting it get to me and moving on as quickly as possible.
__________

"I wrote a song for you. It's the first song I've ever written. You're my muse."
"Haha, I do what I can."
"I've never felt so happy before. We'll really last, I'm sure of it. I think we're soul mates."
"I'm really happy too."
"Never leave me. And promise that when we're thirty-five and still unmarried we'll get hitched. Promise?"
"I promise."
__________