We're Getting Old

I was thinking today about getting older. I'm 20, turning 21 next month. My parents told me that they consider 21 to be a true adult and will thus unofficially "set me free." Meaning nothing in the official sense... I'll still be receiving rent checks and grocery money regularly. But the fact that my own parents consider me to be an adult is kinda scary... parents are like your childhood touchstone. Then I got to thinking about graduation. I'm graduating in about a year and a half and am supposed to get a job. A REAL job... what the hell is that!?!? What am I supposed to do with myself? Get an apartment, work full-time, become a 9-to-5er ? I don't see that for myself in only a year and a half! But at the same time, I've grown up so much in the past two years here that maybe I'll be ready by the time I'm out...

Hopefully by then I'll figure out what I wanna do with my life.

I think once you get older, and you've figured out who you are exactly you can truly begin to live your life and enjoy it. Over the years, I've become more settled in who I am, and have learned to enjoy myself. I love the fact that I hate green peppers, refuse to wear brand names and can't for the life of me play tennis. I think you also become more relaxed about life. Some people are so uptight that they're always searching for something better. My friend Ryan even said today that he's noticed that none of our group of girl friends complain about their bodies anymore. Even two years ago, that was one of the main things we'd talk about was our jiggly bellies or thunder thighs. Now, I cant be in the same room as one of those girls without getting the urge to throw something at them. Lets finally get around to living our lives people! No more waiting around for something better to come around or until you've gone to the gym enough to get Gwen's abs. Not gonna happen... so sorry...

that's another thing... I think self confidence has a lot to do with age. Over time little things about yourself that you used to hate become a part of who you are. For example...

1) My stomach. It still bothers me sometimes, but I think having a little belly is sexy. Besides, it's mine. No one can take it from me.

2) The fact that I've never had a serious boyfriend. I admire that I can be so particular about who I want. I deserve the best and I wont settle for anything less.

3) My reverse affinity to sports. That's right... I have NO sports skills, and I've realized that it's because I spent all my time in dance class. So now I can do the splits and up to 15 foute turns in a row. What can you do? Hit a ball with a stick? That's special.

I'm a very confident person. It used to be a very rare quality, but as my friends and I grow older I can see more and more of us learning to really love who we've become.

I like that.