Mon Canevas Blanc

If you know me even a little bit, you'll know I have no idea what I want to do with my life. It's ok with me, I mean I don't really like the idea of knowing exactly what the future holds anyways. Sometimes I think I should go talk to an academic counselor and at least figure out what my options are, but something always stops me. Maybe it's just laziness, or maybe it's because I don't want to commit to something that could turn out to be a bad decision. Finding the right career is a pretty big deal, and I don't understand how everyone else has such an easy time with it. There are far too many options out there to nail one down and say "that's what I want to do for the rest of my life." This is something you'll be doing everyday, all day, forever. It's rather intimidating.

The things I'm passionate about seems to be deemed "not sensible career choices." I could dance forever and ever, but will I be able to buy groceries? Probably not. So since the things I know I love are kind of out of the question for a career, I need to find new things to become passionate about. At least I know the following about myself:

1) I hate being told what to do. Rather, I need some independence and room for creativity.

2) I need to be moving around and doing stuff. Sitting at a desk all day is not an option.

3) I need to be around people my own age and/or children.

4) I need a relaxed or at least semi-relaxed atmosphere. I can't stand getting into trouble for stupid shit like having your top button undone (that actually happened.)

All the jobs I've had in the past have taught me exactly what I don't want to do for a living. I don't want to teach in the school system, I don't want to work in an office and I don't want to work insane hours just to get by. Not knowing is ok, but sometimes I wish I had some kind of clue. The future is a big, blank canvas craving colour.