1) You may have noticed I've been posting a lot lately. This is because I have heaping piles of other shit I should be doing.
2) I'm trying to apply for a working visa in the U.K. and I'm on the verge of punching the shit out of my computer. Someone please tell me how the fuck the damn system works!
3) I still haven't eaten chocolate since I gave it up for lent. But now it's gotten to the point where I think about how much I want it everyday. How pathetic is that? I still refuse to eat it though. I'm holding strong. But it's sooo goood... fuck, I want chocolate!
4) I've recently discovered how much I suck in relationships. No I'm not in one, and that's because I suck. Funny how this is a new revelation, I should have known all along. The big neon sign on my forehead that says "Don't take me seriously because I'm irrational, I push people away and I'm loaded with relationship anxiety" should have given it away. That's a heavy sign to be carrying around without ever noticing.
5) I'm angrier and hornier than I've ever been in my entire life right now, and I'm sitting alone at my computer. This combination would make for some wicked angry sex, but does anyone wanna have sex with me? No. Thanks guys, all this is going to waste. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Maybe I'll watch some porn instead of studying. Fuck, that'll just make it worse.
6) I still want chocolate. It's a toss up: Chocolate or sex? I can't have either, so does it really matter?
7) I came back from the gym almost two hours ago and I still haven't showered. I am disgusting.
8) If I could bitch-slap anyone in the world, it would be Jade from America's Next Top Model. No, I don't watch that show on a regular basis, but when I do she makes me wanna punch the TV. She's the most annoying bitch I've ever seen and someone needs to slap her in the face.
9) We've been having toilet paper wars in our bathroom. There hasn't been a roll up there for about a week, and we're all seeing who will crack first and buy more. We also don't have a towel. It disappeared about two months ago and no one knows where. It's kind of like being in the wilderness, except without trees and animals. And I have a private roll of TP that no one knows about. I don't know what I'll do once that runs out...
10 comments:
Oh Em, you are hilarious. Jade definatly needs to be slapped (as a hopeless addict to said show I feel the rage) Other people carry that sign too hun, don't worry it will all work out in your favour!
That post made me laugh out loud. :D
Emily... you make me laugh.
My grandmother always told me that Sundays were meant for cheating during lent. I'm pretty sure my grandmother wanted me to go to hell though. Ah well, lent is almost over! You can do it! Personally, I'd be more worried about the toilet paper situation...
I'm so glad you're all having a good laugh at my anger and misery (at least it's good for something). Now give me a hand, I'm trying to engineer a big chocolate man for when lent is over. Kate, thanks for the inspiration.
hahah OHHH EMMY!!!
I can't tell you how happy I am to be home right now considering the mood you must be in to write that blog!! I hope now that you've got it all out of your system, you feel much better!
P.S.. I'm working on the big chocolate man for you! Anything for my girl!!! maybe it will have batteries... kill to birds with one stone! haha.. Love you and see you tomorrow!!
LOLOLOLOLOL!
i sometimes have toilet paper wars too!
emily. eat some some god-damned chocolate...you're turning into a ragging lunatic for fuck sakes! lol. haven't you noticed how bitter you become when you take away the sweets? I LOVE YOU!!! you're hilarious :).
emily. eat some some god-damned chocolate...you're turning into a ragging lunatic for fuck sakes! lol. haven't you noticed how bitter you become when you take away the sweets? I LOVE YOU!!! you're hilarious :).
Ya get some chocolate will ya? As for sex, well being you dad and all...have some chocolate will ya? xoxoxox
Post a Comment