[Disclaimer: I know lately my entries have been overly guy-related and incredibly bitter. This one is no better. My entries make me look like a cynical man-hater but I just write what I'm feeling at the moment, and lately I've been feeling like a cynical man-hater. I promise you, I will lighten-up my entries once I get out of my exam slump and have more interesting material to write about.]
I don't have a lot of experience dating. I only date guys I really like, and they seem to be very few and far between these days. When I actually start to date someone I really like, it never works out for whatever bullshit reason. I do, however, have lots of experience with guys who don't want to date me.
1) The I-just-want-to-sleep-with-you Guy. This is the most common category in my experience. These are the guys you meet at the bar in polo shirts with a beer in their hand. They enjoy one night stands, hair gel and grinding your ass on the dance floor. Usually they can't dance and just make attempts to have sex with you right there, through your clothes. This type is easy to spot because they make blatant attempts to take you home to the "party at my house after the bar" (there is never a real party) and sometimes they even ask if you'll sleep with them out-right (one guy asked me in Italian, not knowing I understood him. Funny story.) This breed is very determined but not entirely dangerous. Usually an obvious "get away from me you psycho" or "I have a boyfriend" will halt their efforts. And if you do decide that he might actually be a nice guy and give him your number he'll never call because you're not the type of girl that will put-out right away. These guys are also never good in bed, so going home with them will only result in sexual unsatisfaction and disappointment.
2) The I'm-still-getting-over-my-ex-girlfriend Guy. A rare breed and the most dangerous, these guys are recovering from a serious break-up. The longer the relationship was, the more dangerous this type is. They are usually very nice, very charming and very good kissers so it is easy to get fooled into liking them. The reason this type is so dangerous is that you'll really start to like them but despite your best efforts they wont want to get involved. They got their heart broken by the Ex and wont let you get close enough to break it again. They are on high defensive alert. As soon as it starts to get a little bit serious you get "it's just not working out" or "I don't want a girlfriend right now" or "you're a nice girl, lets stay friends." You're the rebound girl. It really doesn't matter how much he likes you, its never going anywhere except to shit. So if he says he's had a really serious relationship in the recent past, just say no.
3) The I-just-want-to-be-friends Guy. I've only come across this type once or twice in my life, but they can be even more dangerous than the I'm-still-getting-over-my-ex-girlfriend guy. This is because you're already emotionally involved with him... you love him as a friend. The problem arises when you start to develop a crush on him but he doesn't see you that way. This type enjoys long talks about other girls, cuddling and telling you how great you are. Follow one (of the many) cardinal rules of dating: Friends should stay friends. If he wants to be more than friends, he'll tell you. Or jump you. Either way, you'll know. Don't risk the friendship just because you're horny, it's not worth it.
Of course not everyone fits into these three categories, and there are those guys that actually do want a serious relationship (I've never come across one, but I hear they're out there.)
Oh God, someone save me from my cynicism... now.
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6 comments:
Cynical Cynical Emily!
You have obviously identified these boys, and you know what to look for in them, so why don't you just play along? University is the time to go out and play, to meet new people and to have fun!
Why are you in such a rush to get into a serious relationship? Sure it's good at first, but you always end up getting fucked over in the end.
You have the rest of your life to be in a relationship, don't rush it! The more people you meet now, the more positive you'll be when you meet the "right" guy.
So go out and have fun, meet new people and enjoy the last year and a half of your University career!
I'm not in a rush, I've just never had a serious relationship so I feel like I'm missing out. I've been going out, having fun and meeting new people for my whole f*ing life! I don't want to do that anymore. I'm old and I'm tired(at least I feel that way.)
I think you may be rushing into something you may not want! Relationships aren't all they are cracked up to be. And as you said, you've never met a guy who is interested in a serious relationship yet.
Why push it? When it's right, it will happen.
I'm not pushing anything, and I'm not rushing. I'm in no hurry to get into a relationship and I would never start one with someone who doesn't want one (that makes no sense.) I'm just bitter because I've never experienced a real relationship and I want that experience. I appreciate your optimism and advice dear, but I will remain pessimistic about my lack of relationships (until I have one.)
I think people will stop leaving comments because I constantly put them down, haha! I'm just the devil's advocate.
Date a nerd. They'll treat ya right. :D And you may be pleasantly surprised.
Emily,
Relationships can be fantastic providing they're with the right person... However, when it is with the wrong person, every day is Hell and you have no idea why you are so miserable (i speak from experience). I am a firm believer that you can have found someone fantastic, you are both the right people but the timing is just horrible. It can also be the other way around - wrong people, but the timing is right and therefore you end up in a relationship that really you just don't want to be in. (again - been there, done that) My advice - change nothing. You are fantastic the way you are and if these boys that you have met can't see that then they aren't worthy of your time. I know this is probably the last that you want to hear, but it will happen in time. When you are least expecting it and think you have gotten over that one person you want, things will suddenly turn around and the sky will seem just a little brighter. Keep smiling, you are beautiful.
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