This wall is the only thing keeping me vertical and I press against it hard. Emotional symptoms manifesting as physical ones; I've read about this a million times.
Sometimes I feel like a two-year-old when I don't get my way, stamping my little feet and throwing a temper tantrum. The two-year-old inside my head just wants to scream and cry and thrash around until someone gives me what I want. Why does this have to be so hard?
Every day that goes by I get dizzier. Every day the room spins faster and faster and I clench my teeth harder. Waiting waiting waiting, I don't want to do this again. Patience is not a virtue I possess, but you'll never know it. I will wait. And wait and wait. I'll remain quiet on the outside and make you believe I have grace and poise and sweetness in my bones, but my insides are spinning spinning spinning.
No. You'll never know the war that goes on inside my head. I'll make sure of that.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
...and self-indulgence is my other hobby
About Me
- Miss.Emily
- I like to feel the hard, cold floor beneath my feet before I leap away from it
My Lovers
Blogs I Read
5 comments:
What's up? Everything ok?
That was an extremely intense blog. Hope that everything is ok. It's ok to let some emotion out and let people know what you're thinking. A lot of the time they actually want to know why you are upset and what's wrong. I learned that recently. If they care, they want to know.
Don't worry everyone, everything is fine!
I think the writing is great. I think it evokes deep sanity.
It's a compliment in a way that people become concerned reading your words. Shows talent.
#
You are so strong that it scares me, but a part of me hopes that occasionally, you're just a little bit soft.
Post a Comment