I was thinking about this the other day. There were a lot of these little graphs and theories I was meant to memorize and regurgitate for my psych exams and every once in awhile I remember one that clicked. It came to me in a conversation about people, and how a lot of the time, people are not happy. They complain about anything they can find to complain about: the weather, their families, the government, you name it. And as a waitress good God do I hear a lot of complaining. "You should have candles. It's too echoey in here. My stirfry has too many noodles." I swear I've heard it all; but I digress.The reason this little theory came to mind is that I thought maybe the reason all these people are unhappy with all the teeny, insignificant imperfections they find in their lives is because they can't get past that green part of the pyramid: Esteem. They're so involved in themselves because they haven't achieved reasonable levels of self-confidence yet, and are thus unable to be the calm, rational, unprejudiced people they are meant to be.
Considering I know very few people who could be at the top of the pyramid, this saddened me. And made me think, what could we be doing so wrong where so many people are unable to be happy with themselves? Is there some flaw somewhere in the social framework of our culture that prohibits so many people from achieving self-actualization? Or is it a personal journey separate from cultural constraints?
Insecurities are a strong motivator for irrational behaviour. Almost any question about why someone acts in a way contrary to how you would expect them to can be answered by examining that person's insecurities.
I apologize for the psychobabble, I can't help it sometimes.
4 comments:
Em,
I think a little differently about why people complain so much, actually. I do service work too, just a different kind.
I think people complain so much because it makes them feel bigger than they perceive themselves; it feeds this sense of entitlement that almost everybody has in some way. By complaining about something, it puts them in a higher position where they are judging something. Passing judgment makes people feel big.
I'm not saying I don't understand where people are coming from -- I feel small all the time! But complaining never really helps. It just lets you vent. That's what a lot of people don't get.
Not that you're entirely wrong, either. Esteem fits into that situation too, but maybe not perfectly. People just love to bitch too.
The only people on top of that pyramid are the fluid ones, the ones that don't let themselves be constrained so tightly. How I wish I were up there too -- I'm trying.
I never pictured you as a waitress, by the way. Thought you worked with helping people, actually, maybe like at a non-profit or something. What kind of restaurant is it?
Anyway, that last statement is 100% on the money, though. Insecurities are why we do strange and irrational things. Like why I started a blog, only to delete it -- you're the only person who ever saw it, I think. I wonder what that says about me.
I think you'll find what you want. You can be on top of that pyramid, but remember, it's just a drawing. Life is amorphous. You, you can be everywhere, if you want.
Cause you dance barefoot.
Exactly... low self-esteen makes people want to feel bigger cause they feel small all the time... hense judging and complaining.
Waitressing is basically non-profit if you think about it! Low wages, helping people... you got it about right! This is just a pause beore I go back to grad school. I can make the most money serving and bartending (I do both) than in any other job so I can afford school/travelling. It's a fine dining restaurant... really great whitefish ;)
Best of luck, then. When I'm out for a drink next time, I'll tip double, in your honor. That's a promise.
Mmm...whitefish. Haha. Actually, I love good fish. Save some for me.
Where you talking about me? You were weren't you? I know you were, that was about me wasn't it? What did you mean by that? What do you mean by people? You mean me don't you?
Love dad xoxox
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