Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Justin Timberlake and the Black Cake
Welcome to another installment of "Miss.Emily has messed dreams which is probably a sign that she is crazy but she's been told that before so whatever." This one was a nap dream from earlier today.
It was the weekend of my wedding. I guess it was around April, 2008 cause I knew I was 23 and I had known my fiancee since October of 2007. I was all busy planning and rushing around trying to do wedding type stuff, wrapping up loose ends and all the crap that I'm sure goes into such an event. Anyways, the air in my dream was kinda dark through the whole thing. Like there was a black fog over everything all the time. And all this supernatural stuff kept happening that didn't really phase me at the time of the dream because I was so preoccupied with the wedding. I don't remember a lot of specifics but I do remember my cake turning black. Which is a pretty bad omen but it didn't affect me at all during the dream. So I had this bad feeling far, far at the back of my mind through the whole dream too, like I knew I didn't want to marry this guy. His initials were JT (and it's possible this is because I posted about Justin Timberlake yesterday.) And he was an amazing guy, handsome, nice, really intelligent and my parents loved him and I really think I loved him too. But there was this deep feeling of being strangled and confined by the thought of marrying him. I was determined to do it consciously, but unconsciously there was this intense fear that I was making a big mistake. No one else said anything to me except Kelly who somehow sensed that I shouldn't marry JT. She said, "You know you're allowed to say 'no' at the alter. You've only known this guy for 7 months, you don't have to do this." And although I half agreed with her, I almost felt obligated to marry him anyways because I loved him.
Now here comes the part where I'm sensible and don't search for meaning in this...
1) To see a marriage in your dream, signifies commitment, harmony or transitional period. You are undergoing an important developmental phase in your life. The dream may also represent the unification of formerly separate or opposite aspects of yourself. In particular, it is the union of masculine or feminine aspects of yourself. Consider the qualities and characteristics of the person that you are marrying. These are the qualities that you need to look at incorporating within yourself.
2) To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. Dreams involving weddings are often negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your issues about commitment and independence. To dream that you are planning your own wedding to someone you never met, is a metaphor symbolizing the union of your masculine and feminine side. It represents a transitional phase where you are seeking some sort of balance between your aggressive side and emotional side.
That anxiety stuff rings a bell. And a new transition. I'm trying to plan for graduate school at this point so I guess that's all that "new beginning" and "transition" stuff. This is a sign for sure. Or maybe it means that Justin Timberlake from the Bookstore is my future husband.
It was the weekend of my wedding. I guess it was around April, 2008 cause I knew I was 23 and I had known my fiancee since October of 2007. I was all busy planning and rushing around trying to do wedding type stuff, wrapping up loose ends and all the crap that I'm sure goes into such an event. Anyways, the air in my dream was kinda dark through the whole thing. Like there was a black fog over everything all the time. And all this supernatural stuff kept happening that didn't really phase me at the time of the dream because I was so preoccupied with the wedding. I don't remember a lot of specifics but I do remember my cake turning black. Which is a pretty bad omen but it didn't affect me at all during the dream. So I had this bad feeling far, far at the back of my mind through the whole dream too, like I knew I didn't want to marry this guy. His initials were JT (and it's possible this is because I posted about Justin Timberlake yesterday.) And he was an amazing guy, handsome, nice, really intelligent and my parents loved him and I really think I loved him too. But there was this deep feeling of being strangled and confined by the thought of marrying him. I was determined to do it consciously, but unconsciously there was this intense fear that I was making a big mistake. No one else said anything to me except Kelly who somehow sensed that I shouldn't marry JT. She said, "You know you're allowed to say 'no' at the alter. You've only known this guy for 7 months, you don't have to do this." And although I half agreed with her, I almost felt obligated to marry him anyways because I loved him.
Now here comes the part where I'm sensible and don't search for meaning in this...
1) To see a marriage in your dream, signifies commitment, harmony or transitional period. You are undergoing an important developmental phase in your life. The dream may also represent the unification of formerly separate or opposite aspects of yourself. In particular, it is the union of masculine or feminine aspects of yourself. Consider the qualities and characteristics of the person that you are marrying. These are the qualities that you need to look at incorporating within yourself.
2) To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. Dreams involving weddings are often negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your issues about commitment and independence. To dream that you are planning your own wedding to someone you never met, is a metaphor symbolizing the union of your masculine and feminine side. It represents a transitional phase where you are seeking some sort of balance between your aggressive side and emotional side.
That anxiety stuff rings a bell. And a new transition. I'm trying to plan for graduate school at this point so I guess that's all that "new beginning" and "transition" stuff. This is a sign for sure. Or maybe it means that Justin Timberlake from the Bookstore is my future husband.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Blonde on the Inside
So one day I went to the Bookstore to buy these three books I needed for a class. Looked and looked over the shelves I did, and nope couldn't find them. So I went to ask for help from the two dreamboats that worked there, of course knowing that in the two minutes they would spend helping me they would learn how witty, charming, beautiful and intelligent I am and would want to marry me. So I'm waiting for help, it's very busy. I wait for a good five minutes and ask the Justin Timberlake clone about these books and he doesn't know so he asks the Zach Braff clone. Zach asks me to follow him, and of course I'm thinking "Wow, he wants to spend some one-on-one time with me because he wants to have beautiful babies together." And then in one sweeping motion he grabs all three books right off the shelf from where I was looking and hands them to me, not saying a word. I am thinking in my head, "WHAAAA jeez, I'm such a stupid bimbo. There's no way I'm buying these books right now, maybe I can slip away quietly and the hotties will forget that this ever happened." So I inconspicuously try to slither out the door when I hear the following conversation...
Justin Timberlake: "So, did you find those books?"
Zach Braff: "Yeah they were on the shelf dude."
Justin Timberlake: "Yeah right!" (Laughter of disbelief and mockery ensues.)
Thus, I am stupid. The end.
Justin Timberlake: "So, did you find those books?"
Zach Braff: "Yeah they were on the shelf dude."
Justin Timberlake: "Yeah right!" (Laughter of disbelief and mockery ensues.)
Thus, I am stupid. The end.
Monday, January 15, 2007
I'm wondering if I'll regret wishing these next four months away.
The more I think about it, the more I realize I'm trying so hard to get something I may not really want.
Keeping asking me, I kinda like it. But I'll never say yes.
This is how I want to be, not how I am. I'm trying hard to change my thoughts on purpose.
Make the most of it. I don't know if I can.
The more I think about it, the more I realize I'm trying so hard to get something I may not really want.
Keeping asking me, I kinda like it. But I'll never say yes.
This is how I want to be, not how I am. I'm trying hard to change my thoughts on purpose.
Make the most of it. I don't know if I can.
This is so hard. I'm only really strong on the outside.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Vegetables are good for you
1) Question: What do you do when one of your favourite aspects of your own personality is one that annoys the hell out of a good friend? Just ignore them or change or what? I guess I'm just pretty arrogant and think there's nothing wrong with me so when someone says there is I'm pretty surprised. "Wait... I'm not perfect?"
2) I've started drinking V-8 because vegetables are good for you, d'uh. It tastes like tomatoes mixed with gasoline and some vomit too because of those little chunks. I just chug it down, like one would chug a tomato/gas/vomit combo. I've also contemplated becoming a full-fledged vegetarian lately because I already don't eat any red meat or fish and I eat chicken maybe once a day. Hello health kick, how are you doing? When my ass turns into the most beautiful thing I've ever seen I'll take a picture of it for you.
3) I'm going to add a post-script new years resolution to my list, and that is to go to class. I've skipped three classes already in the first three days of school, go me.
4) So I don't know the etiquette about cell phones yet, I'm a new user. What happens when you get your phonebook full of numbers that you add while at the bar? You know, those people you insist you'll call again but never do? Can you delete them? Or is it courtesy to keep them for awhile until you go through them and say, who the hell are "Phil" and "Jason" and forget when you even added the number and then delete them? Or do you keep them just so people will think you're a huge pimp because you get a lot of numbers? Or do you wait a couple months and then call Phil or Jason and say, "Oh, I had your number in my phone and was wondering who you are?" and then make a date with them because of this funny story you have together and you can tell people that's how you met?
5) I went shopping today and spent $257 that I don't have. Look at the jacket I bought, not at my face in the picture. I look like I'm about to commit murder to babies. This jacket is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, not including non-material stuff like life and sex. I always secretly make fun of people who take pictures of their reflections in mirrors, which is why I hid the camera at the side and took off the flash so no one would know, except now you know. I give you permission to mock me. But not the jacket, I don't want it's feelings to be hurt.
2) I've started drinking V-8 because vegetables are good for you, d'uh. It tastes like tomatoes mixed with gasoline and some vomit too because of those little chunks. I just chug it down, like one would chug a tomato/gas/vomit combo. I've also contemplated becoming a full-fledged vegetarian lately because I already don't eat any red meat or fish and I eat chicken maybe once a day. Hello health kick, how are you doing? When my ass turns into the most beautiful thing I've ever seen I'll take a picture of it for you.
3) I'm going to add a post-script new years resolution to my list, and that is to go to class. I've skipped three classes already in the first three days of school, go me.
4) So I don't know the etiquette about cell phones yet, I'm a new user. What happens when you get your phonebook full of numbers that you add while at the bar? You know, those people you insist you'll call again but never do? Can you delete them? Or is it courtesy to keep them for awhile until you go through them and say, who the hell are "Phil" and "Jason" and forget when you even added the number and then delete them? Or do you keep them just so people will think you're a huge pimp because you get a lot of numbers? Or do you wait a couple months and then call Phil or Jason and say, "Oh, I had your number in my phone and was wondering who you are?" and then make a date with them because of this funny story you have together and you can tell people that's how you met?
5) I went shopping today and spent $257 that I don't have. Look at the jacket I bought, not at my face in the picture. I look like I'm about to commit murder to babies. This jacket is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, not including non-material stuff like life and sex. I always secretly make fun of people who take pictures of their reflections in mirrors, which is why I hid the camera at the side and took off the flash so no one would know, except now you know. I give you permission to mock me. But not the jacket, I don't want it's feelings to be hurt.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
I Resolve: The 2007 Edition
Last year I had a whole list of resolutions that I did or did not keep for a period of time. This year I have only two but they're big ones. Really big.
1) Go to the gym five times a week. This is the big one I had from last year which I actually kept until I got mono and couldn't walk for a month and I haven't been to the gym since. If you do the math I've been gymless for about seven months now. Eeek. Thus, I resolve to go to the gym five days a week starting yesterday.
2) To finish all my papers the day before so I can sleep. No more all nighters, no more half-assed papers because I avoid stress like the plague. "Dear Emily; The more you put things of the more stressed you will be and the more tired. Stop avoiding the inevitable!"
I can't fail now that my goals are documented on the Internet. People are watching me...
1) Go to the gym five times a week. This is the big one I had from last year which I actually kept until I got mono and couldn't walk for a month and I haven't been to the gym since. If you do the math I've been gymless for about seven months now. Eeek. Thus, I resolve to go to the gym five days a week starting yesterday.
2) To finish all my papers the day before so I can sleep. No more all nighters, no more half-assed papers because I avoid stress like the plague. "Dear Emily; The more you put things of the more stressed you will be and the more tired. Stop avoiding the inevitable!"
I can't fail now that my goals are documented on the Internet. People are watching me...
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