Three Cheers for Narcissism

Whatever, I'm entitled, I just got a new haircut.




They always say that Psychologists are more likely to suffer from mental illness than people in other professions. I guess it's because if you know all the symptoms you're more likely to see them in yourself.

Today I feel bi-polar.



I'm going back and forth between highs and lows. I think I get this way right before a big change. I felt like this around the time I was finishing my degree and moving from Waterloo forever, and next week I'm moving again, away from Toronto. I feel a combo of excitement, fear and anxiety. Very confusing.




Nothing a new haircut and some self-portraits can't fix.

*Cough Cough*

I watched Michael Moore's SiCKO last night and can't stop thinking about it.

First of all, I understand if some of you are skeptical about Moore's films. They are bias and loaded with opinions, even though he makes it seem like you are watching something fact-based. Yes, he bases his films on fact for the most part, but he definitely does not present both sides of the story. There is also evidence that he alters some information to fit it into a mold of his own making. That is the nature of cinema I suppose: You already know your script and the way the movie will turn out before you've even started filming.

However, despite knowing all of this I am still a fan of SiCKO as well as the other films Moore has produced. Not because I think everything he claims is true, not because they are interesting to watch (which they are) but because his films educate and enrage people on issues they should be educated and enraged about. Many people already knew that American health care was lacking before they watched the film, but it helped to really bring the issue to light. Things like this are necessary to collapse this idea that America is somehow Utopian. So many of its citizens idealize the "Land of the Free" as some kind of perfect prototype, and it's important for people to realize that it's not.

As a Canadian watching this movie, I was scared shitless. Yes, we have better healthcare than the States, but it made me realize how fragile that service is and how easily it could escape us. Harper has proposed privatizing healthcare, or changing to a two-tiered system. Public healthcare is one of the things that makes Canada unique from the U.S., and changing that system would be de-evolving. I can see the gradual changes occurring already, from my own personal experience. Canada's drug services are not universal. I am not covered, because I am over 21 and am not working at a job that has a drug plan. Every time I need a puffer it costs me $120 and if I were someone who couldn't afford $120 a month, I would simply need to live without it, unable to breathe.

I apologize for the rant, but I think it is so sad that it takes a loaded movie with cancer patients crying into a frosted camera lens while a sad "broken American dream" ballad plays in the background for people to become aware that something isn't right. Why don't people realize the problem until Michael Moore shoves it into their poor, sickly little faces?

Was it the Wine, the Loneliness or the Prostitute?

Maybe it's the recent lack of meaningful, romantic relationships in my scope (because romance tends to blur my vision. It's as if I neglect the the lens through which I usually view the world because nothing else seems to matter. "Who cares about that, I'm blissful with whats-his-face!")

It could be the bottle of Sauviginon Blanc I drank last night. (Drunkenness often leads to increased awareness... right?)

It might have been the conversation I had with the hooker on our corner, who turned out to be a very nice girl. (Her shoes were hurting. Those things are not practical.)

Irregardless, I had an epiphany: I don't know everything.

I know that may come as a serious shock to you, it definitely did to me. I'll give you a minute to absorb.

...

I usually walk around with an air of infallible confidence. I love argument and debate, because I usually believe that I'm right. I will fight you about anything and try to force you into defeat, but if you somehow manage to shake the grounds of my argument, I will be grateful. I will most likely thank you for teaching me something with which I can use to fight somebody else in the future. But with this new found epiphany, I'm not so sure my confidence is justified. It is usually seen as a positive characteristic, but there is a fine line between being confident and being arrogant. I may be crossing that line.

Psychology is the study of general trends in the population. We're basically trying to figure people out, but people are complicated (thank you, I'm a genius.) All the moments in life, both significant and insignificant, shape who we are, and knowing we all have specific, individual life experiences, how can anyone possibly truly know anyone else? And yet in a single meeting I will judge you. You will judge me. We will both believe we have at least a vague impression about the other, and that impression almost always turns out wrong.

So what then, should we do? Remain humble, I suppose. Keep an open mind, don't judge too quickly and all that. It's easy to say that we should remain non-judgemental, but when it comes to actually applying the "shoulds," it gets a bit tricky.

This is the art of living.